Haggle
by santa.claus.is.a.stalker
Summary: My boring, everyday job as a store-clerk. Perfectly normal. Then Kakuzu just has to show up. This is gonna be one hell of a haggle.


"I'm sorry sir, but the only way I can allow you to leave is if you have the correct amount of money." My chin rested in my palm as I stared at the middle-aged man in front of me.

"But I told you!" He stared at me in exasperation. "This is all I have!" His wrinkled hand waved above the small pile of money sitting between us. I glanced at the kunais next to my elbow.

"Then why don't you, and this is just a suggestion, buy three of them? Then you'd have enough money to pay for your purchases." _And then you can leave._

I watched him pause before realization dawned on him. "Why didn't I think of that?"

_Cause you're a nimwit. _"I'm not sure sir, but it's my job to bring up suggestions for our wonderful customers."

He grinned before it suddenly fell. "But I still want five of them."

I heaved out a sigh. "You can always come back tomorrow and but them." _So it's a good thing I have Wednesdays off._

"I think I'll do that!" The grin he wore made me almost want to puke. Almost.

"That'll be fifteen dollars." I took the money from his dry hands, placing it with the other money this godforsaken shop collected. I placed the kunais my _wonderful _customer just purchased into a paper-

"Could you make that plastic please?"

-plastic bag, and handed it to him.

A faux smile appeared on my face. "Have a good day." I watched him nod before he left the shop.

I fell against the counter with a huff. My right hand hung over the opposite side of the wooden countertop as my left rested atop my head. A strand of red hair fell between my green eyes. I blew it away with a slight puff.

I let my eyes fall closed with a sigh. I had four hours left and this was the slowest part of the day. My favorite part. A contented sigh escaped my lips. No one's gonna come in.

The bell on the door tingled.

My eyes shot open as I bit back a growl. I stood with a frown on my face.

_It better not be that shit-head again._

I brought my gaze up to the lousy bastard that interrupted my nap.

…

…

_I thank whatever god is out there that I didn't say that outloud._

…

…

I watched as one of the most ruthless of the Akatsuki looked around the shop. The member who killed all his partners, other than his current one, stood less than ten feet away from me. And if the rumors are true, I have one hell of a haggle to look forward to.

_I mean, Kakuzu _is_ known as a greedy bastard…Oh shit._

I gave a wary grin to the angry Akatsuki member. _That wasn't supposed to be said._

"Ehehehehehe." My eyes were closed as I smiled warily. My pale hand rubbed the back of my head. "Sorry 'bout that. I was talking 'bout my…brother? Yeah! My brother!"

I cringed at the intensive glare I was receiving. This was worse than when I pushed my sister down a well. That was five years ago when I was twelve, and boy did I get in deep shit.

"Ow!" My pale hand flew to my head. I touched the sore scalp tenderly, wincing when the throbbing got worse.

I watched a black thread slither across the counter into a black sleeve after letting my hair go.

My eyes slid two feet up to stare into red and green ones before flitting down to the things between us.

_Twelve kunais…three shuriken…two medical needles…four bandages wrappings…and one bagel._

"Are you ready to check out, Sir?" I did my best not to be nervous. I think I did pretty good.

All he did was nod.

"Okay. Twelve kunais would be sixty. Three shuriken, fifteen. Two medical needles, twenty. Four bandage wrappings, twenty-eight. One bagel, two. That'll come out to a total of a hundred twenty-five dollars please."

"Six."

"E-Excuse me?"

"The total comes out to six."

"I'm sorry Sir." I attempted to look sympathetic. "But the total comes out to a hundred twenty-five dollars."

"I'm only giving you six." I stared into narrowed eyes.

"Then you can only buy certain items." My narrowed eyes stared into his.

"You will give me what I want or I will take it." His thread like tentacle things hissed through the air threateningly.

"Pay for you products, or get out." A fake smile was plastered to my face. _Don't show fear. Don't show fear. Don't show fear. Don't-Oh Shit!_

I dropped behind the counter, seconds before he could catch me in his threads. _Pfft…threads…how stu-FOCUS! FOCUS!_

I gripped the knife stowed under the counter. My boss thought it would be a good idea to have something to defend ourselves with. I'm ecstatic he's my overprotective psychotic bastardly boss. Not the sarcasm.

Glancing up I saw one of his weird threads slither into the cash register. On reaction my body swung up and dug the knife into the thread.

It didn't cut through. Shocked, I watched the thread whip up, slicing through the knife to wave dangerously in the air with the others.

I gulped slightly as I let go of the handle. All my fire was drained out.

"I'm taking everything, for free."

And now it's back.

I glared heatedly into his narrowed eyes.

"Do that and I'll rip off your fucking nuts, shove them down your fucking throat, and slice your fucking head off." I smiled the whole time.

He didn't show any signs of hearing me as he started pocketing things. I growled in my throat as I grabbed his wrist to halt him.

Bad idea.

His threads wrapped around my neck and shoved me into a wall. I struggled to breathe, attempting to pull the strings off.

They tightened in response.

Strangled gasps escaped my lips as my lungs contracted on themselves. They felt as if they were on fire.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Double fuck. _I repeated in my mind.

Black spots danced along the line of my vision. If they kept up, I was going to lose consciousness.

I struggled even more, but they only tightened.

As a last line of defense, I let my body go limp. I was hanging from my neck; it hurt like hell. _If I continue like this, I'll eventually die. _I was sure that was gonna happen.

…

He dropped me.

…

I lay on my side gasping for breath. I was in shock. That was the closest to death I had ever come.

Glancing up I watched as he continues taking things, catching a sight of his wallet in his sleeve.

I held back a groan. _I'm so getting murdered for this._

Thoughts crossed my mind, telling me to back off. There was no way I would get out of it alive. But the thought was already stuck, I was gonna do it.

I snuck over to Kakuzu, relishing in the thought that my father had originally wanted me to be a ninja. I'm positive he heard me though.

As I drew closer I watched his hand. I didn't need to be hit, or grabbed by the throat.

I crept closer until I was a mere foot away. My hand inched to his sleeve, I was so close.

I nearly had the wallet, but three things happened, preventing me from grabbing it.

Kakuzu whirled around with a kunai in hand.

The door slammed open to reveal a swearing albino.

And I stumbled back, falling on my ass.

All was silent as Kakuzu matched his glare with mine. The albino, who upon closer inspection was another Akatsuki member, Hidan, was silent, glancing between us in bewilderment.

"What the fucking hell are you fucking doing Shit-Head? Seriously!" He just had to break the silence. I silently cursed Hidan.

"Nothing." Kakuzu turned away, heading for the open door. "We're leaving."

"Dou you at least have my fucking bagel? I'm fucking hungry as fuck. Seriously."

Kakuzu threw the bagel at his head, earning a few more swears.

They both turned to leave.

"Fucker isn't even going to pay." It was barely audible, but being ninjas, they still heard it.

Hidan burst into laughter as he sauntered over to me.

"I fucking like this fucking bitch!" A heavy hand fell on my head as he ruffled my hair.

I didn't even realize I pouted.

This caused some more laughter as he headed back to his partner.

I watched them leave before glancing around. Kakuzu had made a mess while pocketing everything. _This is gonna take forever to clean. _I glanced at the clock. _And he wasn't even here for half-an-hour!_

My head fell to my hands.

"I am so getting fired."


End file.
